Another Poem
by Entipy of Nothing
Summary: Okay, I think this one is really funny, personally. But that's just me. It wasn't actually supposed to be so...wacky it just came out that way. first draft, will revise when time.


Once upon a time there was a station, DS9

T'was built by the Cardassians so Bajor they could mine

They called it Terok Nor—that is, till Starfleet took it over

For when it came to boldly going there was no one bolder

Ben Sisko, still at grief for Jen, was station-wide commander

While Jake and Nog throughout the Promenade would oft meander

Jadzia Dax would sit in ops and tell the same old story

And Kira then would roll her eyes and say, "Why do you bore me?"

A pool of goo was sometimes seen around the Starfleet station

T'was Odo, taking care of Quark and other situations,

O'Brien kept on fixing things, and things just kept on breaking

And finally Keiko said "There's jobs on Bajor for the taking"

O'Brien said, "No thanks, cause Bajor's full of alligators

"And besides, I have to go and fix the replicators."

And Keiko shrugged and muttered, "Fine"; went off to school with Molly

While down in Quark's Bashir ate lunch with Garak, which was folly

And at the bar Morn downed his forty-second drink that day

And Quark watched close, to make sure he had latinum to pay

A cry of "Dabo!" from the tables, Odo standing sentry

And Dax triumphantly emerged with latinum aplenty

She plunked it on the bar and said to eager Quark, "I think

"I'll treat myself to lunch, and maybe something cold to drink."

And Odo finally left, and Quark resumed negotiations

But all was not well there aboard the guiltless-looking station.

For up in ops, a startled Kira suddenly started choking

She cried, "Beyond the wormhole, sir—a Klingon ship decloaking!"

"They're armed," said some lieutenant, "and they're locking on disruptors"

Said Sisko, "Call O'Brien and his crew of fixer-uppers."

"Shields up!" cried Kira, "And I've just established phaser lock!"

"But sir," said the lieutenant, "There's a ship that wants to dock!"

"What kind of ship?" asked Sisko, and he rightly seemed suspicious.

"It seems to be Edemian. It doesn't look too vicious."

"Lower shields," said Sisko, "And again then raise them quick."

Again in Quark's, Bashir got up: "I must attend the sick."

Said Garak, "It has been a pleasure, Doctor," and he left,

And walked off down the Promenade: he had to hem a dress.

Jadzia challenged Morn to some dangerous drinking game

Proceeded to get very drunk; Morn was already same

And finally even Quark said, "Okay, this has to stop"

Dax stumbled out, oblivious to the danger up in ops.

She'd gambled all her latinum and now she had no more

She staggered toward the turbolift and collapsed upon the floor.

The ship docked in the docking ring, the shields again were raised,

And the Klingons were approaching but O'Brien wasn't fazed

He said, "If I can fix this thing so it can send a beam

"Out to the ship, then we can blow it up, or so it seems"  
Said Sisko, "Do it," rather than the stylish "Make it so"

But it was nothing doing, for O'Brien was too slow

"Oh well," said he, and then, "I'll have to think of something else"  
Said Sisko "Hail the Klingons, or I'll hail them all myself."

"It's Gowron," muttered Kira, and she put him up onscreen

And since he was a Klingon it was not a pretty scene.

And Sisko was about to ask the Klingons for a warrant

When Kira suddenly said, "We're being hailed by the Bajorans."

"It must be Winn," said Sisko, and he sure enough was right,

She whined, "Oh, Emissary, you must help us, help us fight.

"The Klingons have arrived and they have invaded Bajor

"And only you can help us—and of course you also, major."

"And me?" said the lieutenant, feeling very left out and hurt

Said the Kai, "We're only human. And lieutenant—clean your shirt."

"Human?" questioned Kira, in a state of great outrage

And that was when Jadzia arrived, and she took center stage

"I'm drunk, but I can still be diplomatic," Jadzia slurred

As Kai Winn looked impatient and old Gowron looked absurd

She said, "My dear Bajorans, and my dearest Klingons too,

"I tropose a preaty causing peace for all of you."

And though she was a bit mixed up the message got across

And Kai Winn grumbled, "Oh, all right," and Gowron muttered, "Goss!"

(Which was not a Klingon word, nor Federation-standard

And no one knew quite what he meant; at least it sounded grander.)

And so the treaty Dax proposed was signed and witnessed too

So that day DS9 had an extremely happy crew

And finally, much later, just as Jake climbed into bed,

Kira thought of something, and this is what she said:

"Kira to Sisko, what about that ship that docked before?

"I hope it's not the Klingons and they want to start a war."

Said Sisko, "Call Bashir, because maybe they are sick,

"And also call on Odo, because it could be a trick."  
So Kira did, and they assembled in the docking ring

Since O'Brien hadn't fixed the lights they couldn't see a thing

And then the airlock opened, and out stepped Gul Dukat

He said, "My dearest Kira, it is dark here, is it not?"

She said, "Dukat, you're out of line, you have no right, so see ya"

He answered, "I'll be leaving but I have to see Jadzia."

This mystified poor Kira, who did not know what to do

So she simply watched as Gul Dukat along the hallway flew

And Odo didn't seem to care, and Sisko let him go

So Kira figured it must be all right and left her foe

She went to bed and pulled the covers tight up to her chin

And when she finally fell asleep she dreamed about Kai Winn

Who said, "Child, there's a problem, and only you can stop it,"

And continued in the dream: "You must go and see the Prophets."

When Kira woke next morning she took the ship _Defiant_

And set off for the wormhole, which was stable and reliant

Her pah was strong, her spirits high; she went into the portal

And she hoped to meet the Prophets, who were timeless and immortal

But as she steered _Defiant_ through and toward the Quadrant Gamma

And the computer played the soundtrack from _Sweet Home Alabama_

And she muttered, "Prophets! I simply cannot stand this song"

She sensed that there was something that was going very wrong

But she paid no attention and said, "Don't play songs I hate

"Computer, play a song to which I can meditate."

But something _had_ gone wrong, and it wasn't on the station

The _Defiant_ had emerged into a horrid situation

The Jem'Hadar, the Klingons, the Cardassians, the Borg,

The Romulans, the Founders, converged upon the poor Bajoran

There upon the scene were all of Starfleet's most feared foes

If this kept up toward DS9 then Quark's would have to close

Though Kira knew t'was hopeless, she released a phaser beam

And suddenly O'Brien was there upon the scene

He said, "I think you need a hand, and I can cloak this vessel"

Kira answered, "If you do I'll think you're very special."

O'Brien said, "No problem"; disappeared toward engineering

And Kira watched her foes approach and fearful she was feeling.

While over off on DS9 Jadzia Dax was screaming

For she'd woken with a hangover to find Dukat there, beaming,

And suddenly the lamp beside her bed began to shift

And sure enough t'was Odo, and he looked a little miffed

He said, "Dukat, you've had your chance, you must be going home"

Dukat said, "But I really must converse with Dax alone"

"I'm sorry," Odo said, "I can't allow that, I'm afraid"

"If that is true," Dukat growled, "I am rather quite outraged"

Said Odo then, "It's over now, Dukat, take off your wig"

And the next thing Gul Dukat knew he was sitting in the brig.

And finally Kira woke up, for of course t'was all a dream

She muttered, "Phew! I cannot stand disruptor beams."

T'was time for her physical; to the infirmary she went

And there she found O'Brien, Bashir, and Garak, looking spent

She said, "What's going on?" and Bashir said, "Nothing much"

Said Garak, "Would you like to join us three for lunch?"  
And over at the school Jake, Nog, and Molly learned

From Keiko, who was their teacher, though she wasn't very stern,

But she loved kids, most especially Molly, her own child.

Up in ops, some lieutenant leaned against the wall and smiled.

4


End file.
